Any given work is a reflection of how I’m feeling at the time of its creation, and if it’s not clear from the last eleven pieces I’ve made, I’m struggling. Abandoning vibrant color in favor of strictly black and white imagery reflects my own feelings of helplessness/hopelessness at the moment.
I’ve always considered myself patriotic and felt proud as a young man to live in a country I felt cared about the welfare of those in need, both here and abroad. Over the last 5-6 years, the qualities I once admired in our elected leaders, such as honesty, compassion, and integrity, have disappeared and been replaced by a blatant disregard for the truth, increased othering (e.g., racism, transphobia, homophobia), and general hostility. When I use the flag in my work, it’s to lament what I see as the erosion of Democratic ideals like truth and justice.
Guns have also featured prominently in my recent work. However, only one gun appears in this piece, and it’s attached to a figure positioned on all fours and wearing a plague mask. Although the figure represents an obstruction (i.e., fear of gun violence and the ongoing pandemic), it can be passed through like the doorway in the foreground.
Sometimes, I feel so crippled by fear that I lose all sense of personal sovereignty. I mean, I want to play—I have my ball—but I just can’t seem to move from the background to the foreground because of the number of obstacles in my way.